App Shopper: Beta Male Handbook (Entertainment)

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Jan 15 '11	Version 1.5
Jul 15 '10	New App: Free, v1.0

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Beta Male Handbook

iOS iPhone

There are two types of men in this world - the Alpha and the Beta. We've all seen the Alpha flaunting his hot wife, huge house, and bulging bank account, but the question remains...who is the Beta male? Where is he in all this?

The Beta male is the guy who really doesn't know what he wants. He's the guy who works really hard to get to middle management, and then stays there. In elementary school, he stood in the middle of the line...until everyone else cut him. He freely offers up his lunch money and then tries to convince himself he is the "good guy" in the situation as the Alpha male eats a steak sandwich with his girlfriend. As he grows up, the Beta male seeks approval in all walks of life - he doesn't do it for himself, he does it for other people. Again, he's a really nice guy. Constantly putting unnecessary pressure on himself, the beta male most often puts himself into his own hole, wishing he was someone different.

This app has one purpose - slowly and accurately define the beta male. Be careful, you may find yourself laughing at the very things that you know are true about yourself. Do you use really nice face wash? Do you listen to Sarah McLaughlin when you've had a really hard day? Do you hate it when people tell you what to do...but secretly love it when they said you did a good job? Maybe you really are just the middle of the road.

We'll keep updating this app as we spend more time with betas. In fact, I just realized another one - the beta male has never used Caps Lock. Or a concrete mixer. Or stick shift. The beta male is too timid to even download this app.

And for god sakes, don't take this too seriously.