App Shopper: Symtards (Games)

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Jul 03 '09	Version 1.1
Jun 25 '09	New App: Free, v1.0

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Symtards

iOS iPhone

One of the strangest apps you'll ever find, Symtards is the game that hammers your brain.

But first, you'll need a brain. So ... is Symtards for you? Well, can you write with something besides a crayon? Can you watch TV without drooling on yourself? If you answered "Yes" to these questions, then Symtards may well be for YOU!

The rules of Symtards are very simple. A four-year old could explain them in under a minute. There are a catalog of symbols called Symtards. For each Symtard, there is a corresponding colored asteroid that will destroy it, and a corresponding colored asteroid that will annoy it into destroying YOU!. These bindings never change over time; all you have to do is remember which color goes with which Symtard and press the right button when it appears.

This would be easy, except that there are insanely many Symtards at the highest level, and they all start to look alike after a while. Good luck reaching it, man. We bet you don't have the gray matter to pull it off.

What makes this game special? Let's see:

- Jarring sound effects
- Ultra-minimalist graphics
- Totally frustrating game play
- Inscrutable symbols to memorize
- Insulting dialogs when you lose

You will lose often. This is our joke at the expense of humanity. You are not worthy. Prove us wrong -- we dare you.

A comment from one of the good folks to preview this: "I play this only to satisfy an obsessive desire to beat the damn thing!"

If he does, we will truly hail him as "King Symtard", for what else would you call such a person? No, better not answer that.

We expect that there will be many one-star ratings but not many one-star written reviews. Why? It's all those folks who can only write with crayons! After all, we warned you about that up front.